on asking the Lord "Are you sure?"

haha, another humbling experience for me. This morning woke up early again, because haven't ironed the shirt I'm supposed to wear to church service. So got up earlier than usual and ironed my top*. After that, checked my e-mail, chatted with a few friends online and then headed out to church. For some reasons, just felt super happy, despite the flu bug and the lack of rest. Kept singing cheery songs to the Lord and basked in His presence on the bus ride there.

Went into the sanctuary immediately after the people left the 1st service. Wanted to cool down, and to get ready for service. Was glad to see more people coming into the sanctuary earlier, to prepare themselves for the worship service. The worship team this morning led the congregation into a wonderful time of praising and exalting the Lord. And as I was singing there on the top of my voice^, singing unto the Lord, suddenly I heard the Lord say, "Jack, offer the money in you wallet to me today."

I was taken aback.  All I had in my wallet was a brand new crisp $50 note which I had withdrawn the day before. I didn't had any smaller notes, and all I had was that big, BIG $50 -note. The pinch was acute as it was half of my salary for a week's job while temping at my friend's place. So I asked the Lord," Are you sure?"

The Lord never replied me back. Ironically, the songs I was singing were talking about giving my life over to Him, and there I was questioning God over $50.  haha, I realised it was not the Lord who is unsure. It is I who was unsure. Unsure of whether the giving away of $50 will leave me destitute for the coming weeks or not. Unsure of whether He will continue to provide for me. I realised that in the instant of asking, I have actually committed a brief act of unbelief. Unbelief in the fact that God can ask me back for what He provides for me. "Lord, don't you know I worked very hard for this? Why are you asking me for MY money?"

haha, thanks be to God I was instantly convicted that I was not hallucinating due to my flu or tired mind. I heard God, He told me to do  something, and remained silent. I questioned, waivered a while, and instantly offer Him back what He wants of me. In the end, when the offering bag came around, I promptly dropped all the money I had in my wallet. And rejoiced in my heart of hearts I did not withold anything, or harden my heart over a measly $50. 

I guess it's like that in life,  when you are comfortably doing your thing, when suddenly you hear God's voice telling to do something out of the blue, something that don't cross your mind. You might end up wondering for a little while, "Lord, are you sure?" But whatever the length of hesistation, be sure that it is God who is calling and be sure not to harden your heart!

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*I'm a lazy man. Figured no one would be interested in see below my waistline, so I usually don't iron my pants.

^eh, I'm what you might call a "shouter". I don't sing, I shout at the top of my voice. :p