yesterday's* night had the weirdest family quarrel ever. There I was putting down the house phone after confirming a friend's appointment for this Saturday, when my dad suddenly demanded that whether I was going out the same day. Realising that he must have overheard my conversation with my friend,** I said "Yes, I did".
Then my dad went into overdrive and started yelling at me for not informing him of my social calender. Deep down in my heart, I was thinking "Huh? For the last 10 years of my life, you never really cared my weekends and stuff, so what gives??" Well, I din try to get into a shouting match with him, but I did try to match him up in loudness. After a while, as we were both really getting loud, my dad had to use "Young man, you don't use that tone with me, I'm your father, understand?"
Well, that brought me up short. Didn't realise how loud my voice was getting that loud, so I tried to talk to my dad again in a lower volume. He is right, he's my "lao pei", so it's only right I give him the respect, no matter what he does or says. Then I slowly got the details out - my dad had to work the next day, and so couldn't be at home to supervise the HDB renovations. My mom, who went through it alone on the previous Saturday, has been nagging at my dad incessantly for the previous 6 days. So my dad was just doing the "husbandly" thing of ensuring there'll be people around the house the whole day with my mom.
My siblings and myself had actually planned to stay on that weekend, also because our mom has nagged at us. My mom has real security issues - she's afraid the workers will shortchange on everything during the renovation process, and she's afraid she cannot communicate with the workers because she cannot speak English that well. Back to us, I've actually checked with my siblings beforehand that they will be around in the house in the morning, so I went ahead to make that appointment with my friend. I didn't have the same fears as my mom so I didn't reason as she did: "All hands on deck and scrutinise the workers minute by minute!" I mean you gotta give space for the workers to work, rather than shadow their every move....
My mom, who was silent prior to my dad's and my shouting match, decided then to add in a dash of her "complaint and sob" show, just to get her point across. That's her way of contributing to the family discussion usually. I think after 25 minutes of that, I needed time out and get out of the room. I went to the living room and stilled myself down to pray. Can't exactly remembered the words, but think I prayed for strength, love and wisdom. Went back into my room and prayed for my mother, as she was the "spark" to this. Then I left it to the Lord to do His work amongst us. I still went out the next day to meet my friend, and came back to join in the supervision.
Looking back, it seems really funny how we can get into such a tense family situation, over such a trivial matter. But I guess that's the way life is - sometimes the home is the hardest battleground. I've gotta constantly remind myself to love my parents, and respect them - even sometimes the things that they do makes it very difficult for me to do so.
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Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
- Colossians 3:20-21 (NIV)
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*well, not yesterday's "yesterday"; but about 21 "yesterdays" ago...
**Not a hard thing to do, as we all talked very loudly in the family. Supposedly has to do with something about we originally came from Shanghai, and all Shanghainese talk at least in 80 dB (decibels)
^ 老爸
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P.S. Supposed to have posted this on the 09 Jan, but the PC screwed up while in the midst of posting it. So din have the heart to write it again immediately. But it's a good learning point, so here's sharing it with you folks.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”- Ephesians 6:12-13
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