on funny stories said over the pulpit...

Yeaps, some of the funny stories that got stuck in my head, courtesy of my pastors...

 

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3 visitors came to an art museum and were admiring an art piece depicting Adam and Eve in paradise.

The first man, a Briton, said "Look here, chaps. See how serene the countenances of both the people are in the picture. Surely Adam and Eve must be British of origin?"

The second man, a French, replied, "Non, non, messieurs. These two people are naked and totally at ease with it. Moreover, they are in Eden, the most romantic of all places. They most certainment are French, oui!"

The third man, a Russian, looked hard at the picture and replied non-committedly, "Comrades, these two people have no clothes on their back, have only a fruit to share between them, and are told they are in Paradise. They surely are Russians..." 

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Once upon a time, there lived a man in a small town. He paints houses for a living and he got exceeding rich from this. Not because he was holding a monopoly, but because he was cheating on his customers - instead of painting their houses with proper paint, this man will mix in a lot more thinner together with the paint. So he cuts his costs in painting per house, since thinner is cheaper than paint.

One day the man was asked by the church to repaint the whole church building. This was a mega project and he had to hire workers to erect scaffolds and paint all the way up from the ground up to the church tower. It was a huge project, and this man used his usual practice of mixing more thinner with paint to cut his costs.

On the last day of the works, the man was standing right at the top-most scaffold to finish painting the tower. Just as he was putting the finishing touches, a sudden storm brewed out of nowhere and it started to pour cats and dogs. It rained so hard that the man was washed down from the scaffolds, and yet miraculously he was unharmed. Moreover, all the thinned paint he had used on the church walls was completely washed off. As the man looked at all the paint that was running down the walls, he was struck in his conscience, and absolutely convinced of his sins.

He cried out to the Lord, "O God! What must I do to redeem myself from this?"

These are the words that came back to him from heavens,

"REPAINT! REPAINT, and THIN no more!"

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*Painting of Adam and Eve taken from http://www.abcgallery.com/S/scorel/scorel1.html