on the difference between dogs and cats

Eh, read this before, but still good for a laugh. Enjoy~

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 DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food!  My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!  My favorite thing! 
9:40 am - A walk in the park!  My favorite thing! 
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 
12:00 pm - Lunch!  My favorite thing! 
1:00 pm - Played in the yard!  My favorite thing! 
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing! 
5:00 pm - Milk bones!  My favorite thing! 
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!  My favorite thing! 
8:00 pm - Wow!  Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!          

  
        
CAT DIARY  Day 983 of my captivity.
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 
 They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are  fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for  the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in  order to keep up my strength.  The only thing that keeps me going is  my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit  on the carpet.  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless  body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their  hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
 However, they merely made condescending comments
 about what a 'good little hunter' I am.   There was
 some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
 I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. 
 However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that  my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what  this means, and how to use it to my advantage.  This morning I was  almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by  weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again  tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.  I am convinced that the  other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives  special privileges.  He is regularly released - and seems to be more  than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.  The bird has got  to be an informant.  I observe him communicate with the guards  regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors  have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is  safe.
 For now...                               

Cat