ha, as mentioned in my last blog, I'm a stickler for schedules and timing. I get super upset when things don't happen on time. If you don't give me a good reason for being late, I'll be very put off and put out by you. So it's kinda amazing when my friends stood me up at an appointment about 2 weeks back. Amazing because I didn't blow my top off at them. I know these bunch of friends are habitual latecomers. So I sms-ed them in advance, telling them to be on time and the works...
Despite all my sms-es, my friends were still late for the appointment. The best part was that they weren't really apologetic about the whole thing. Feeling really pissed, but not really wanted to make a scene, I decided to do it the Dilbert way*, by being sarcastic. I just said it's a wonder that how they can survive in the corporate world with their sense of timing. Alas, I still lost out, as they employed the Dogbert** way of nonchalance and utter disregard to what I said. One even replied "Sorry lor, if you are my boss, I'll be here 15 mins before the stated time lor. But you are not. Anyway, not the first time you came out with us what. You know women are always late one what..."^
Instead of pushing me over the edge and losing my cool, my friend's response just made me pause in my tracks. I knew then, if I had reacted in the way that I had planned to i.e. make a big scene and fuss, I'll probably would ruin that session. Heck, with the "wrath" and "righteous anger" I was feeling, I probably would consider not be friends with them anymore. Yet I was also perturbed: why was I being so upset over their nonchalance? I knew even before that session, my friends are not punctual. Come to weekends, they usually dun leave their homes before noon, in order to sleep in and avoid the sun^^. So they will always "screw up the timing". So why was I so bothered about this?
And suddenly I knew the answer. I was bothered because they do not share my views as their own. In other words, my self worth was actually predicated on how they viewed and valued my beliefs. Or to put it in more simpler terms, I felt I was not "important" because my friends did not subscribe to my views and obey me. Once I got over that hurdle, suddenly everything doesn't seemed as bad anymore. I realized my insistence to punctuality for that session was actually hindering my reaching out to my pre-believing friends. If I got so much energy to be angry and feel insulted, I might as well channel that energy towards reaching out to my friends.
And that was when I conclude Timeliness is not necessarily next to Godliness. Timeliness and being punctual means you have respect for other people's time, and at least have a certain degree of social grace and courtesy. However, when others are not punctual, you don't have to let loose the dragon within you and be a pompous ass (as I was trying to be, by carrying off the attitude of "Ha! I'm more punctual than you~ you social scumbag! i'm better than you!!"). Rather, just exercise grace and love. I'm reminded by something my colleague said another day, when someone was thanking him for taking the time to just talk even while he's rushing some work. His simple reply of "Hey, my time is your time" just struck me. I'm still a long way off from this stage of cultivation of grace in my life, as compared to my colleague...
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* If you don’t know who Dilbert is, you must be from Elbonia...
** well, i figured, in the world of "Dilbert", Dogbert trumps Dilbert, despite the fact that Dogbert is a dog (duh) and Dilbert is a human.
^ I'm utterly amazed by that last liner, because I know of some women who are pretty conscious about punctuality, and have the basic courtesy.
^^ They could be vampires or ghosts, from the fastidious way they try to avoid the sun. Living in
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